Counseling In Genderland

Counseling In Genderland
A Guide for You and Your Transgendered Client

By Neila Miller

1996, Different Path Press

159 Pages



From the Cover

Those in the mental health field who have discovered gender confusion in their clients often have no background or experience in addressing it. It is like Alice's venture into Wonderland, with its own language, rules, ethics, reasoning, and poetry. This book is the first guide written for counselors of every description, plus interested laypersons, which gives a practical map in readable language, for making one's way in this foreign terrain.

Neila Miller has been working and playing with crossgendered persons for half of her twenty-eight years as a humanistic counselor/educator.


Table of Contents

Part I - Engaging with the Gender-exploring Client

1 Beginnings - phone styles / the first session: completing the contract / gathering in formation / involving the partner / the couples contract / commitment / setting goals / clarifying who is responsible / overdependence / overindependence / saying goodbye

2 Understanding the Client's Agenda - initial motivation / the presenting problem / is transition the answer / summary

3 Stages of Development - the crossdresser / signs of integration / summary of typical stages for crossdressers / the transsexual

4 Contributing Factors

5 Problem Areas - unhealthy and destructive patterns / learning to cope / facing loss and grief

Part II - The Counselor's Process: Know Thyself, Know Thy Client

1 The Counselor Prepares - the centered counselor / bodymind awareness / no one right way / dealing with feelings / achieving balance / avoiding the rescue trap / the ebb and flow on contact / self-reflection for the counselor

2 Client Patterns

3 The Counselor's Toolkit: Sensory and Experiential Processes - visual information (imagery, visual metaphor, dreams, fantasy) / auditory information / body signals / tactile information / role playing

4 Group Work

Part III - Relationships

1 Family Background

2 The Communication Process

3 Addressing Gender Issues

4 Coming Out of the Closet - telling the partner / telling the children / telling parents / telling other family / telling friends / telling an employer / my bias to tell

5 Sexual Mythology

6 Rights and Responsibilities of Each Partner

7 Risk Taking

8 Guidelines for Couples - ten steps to working it out / example of a positive interaction / guidelines for spouses or crossdressers / a final word

Part IV - Personal Histories

1 A crossdressing husband and wife / Jamie: transsexual / Stephanie: transsexual

Part V - Future Trends