Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #99, Fall 2002.

by Barbara Curry

The following was published in Outreach News, the newsletter of the Connecticut Outreach Society, in July of 2001, and shortly afterwards on TG Forum.
For more than a year, I?ve been going to church as Barbara.

First I attended the monthly evening gatherings at Integrity, the LGBT Episcopalian group. Then I made the decision to brave mainstream services on Sunday mornings. At first I was hesitant, but I knew a wonderful couple who always invited me to sit with them, and I had other friends in the choir. Best of all, I was always made to feel welcome by the Rector.

Slowly, my few friends in the church started introducing me. Amazingly, everyone to whom I was introduced took the time to talk to me and made me feel welcome.

There comes a point in the Episcopal service where the priest says, ?The Peace of the Lord be with you,? to which the congregation replies ?and also with you.? Then the people in the pews proceed to kiss, hug, and greet those around them. Needless to say, except for my friends, I usually just got the occasional friendly handshake and a few long-distance smiles. But then something strange started to happen. Those strangers in the pews started to know me by name! You?ve no idea how overwhelming it is to have 10, 15, 20, and even 25 people come up to you and say ?Peace, Barbara!? Sadly, I didn?t have a clue who these strangers were, let alone why they were talking to me.

Slowly, I?ve come to know about half of those strangers by name and even more by their smiles. If I?m away for a few weeks, more than a few people will approach after my return and say ?We?ve missed you? or ?Where have you been?? It?s amazing!

Recently Jim, the Rector, asked if I was coming to the annual church picnic (last year I avoided it). I thought for a moment and replied, ?Sure!? He immediately asked, ?Can you play softball?" Startled, I said, ?I?ve not played for 20 years,? to which he said, ?So you?ll play?? Hesitantly, I said yes, but with the simple caveat that I had to play first base, the only position at which I?m any good. The amiable padre responded, ?Great! First base is yours!?

Picnic day came, I had done my church woman duty and signed up to bring salad. I sheepishly slid mine onto a table covered with food, found a place to drop my bag, mingled a little,then got a plate and ate while talking to one of the college students from the parish. We had a fabulous conversation, but eventually, she moved on to talk to others.
v Before I knew it, it was time for the infamous softball game. After adding my name to the list of players, I struck up a conversation with Mary the Curate, who warned me this game was very important to Jim the Rector. She confided that she was prepared to pay the opposing team to lose the game, just to make life bearable. Apparently, Jim is not a good loser. All-too-quickly, the call came for everyone to come to the ball field. Of course, Jim had made sure that not only was I on his team, but that I got my position? first base.

I?m here to tell you, friends, you haven?t played softball until you start running around the bases with your breast forms going one way and your body another! I had the added advantage that the first-base sidelines were the preferred shady sitting place for spectators, so I also had an audience! It wasn?t two innings before I made first base my own little stage. Barbara ?Shecky? Curry was taunting the batters from the other team, not so much with typical baseball taunts as with fashion comments, droll wisdoms, and downright intimidation. Imagine, if you can, running to first base only to have a 5?7? Queen standing on the bag, one hand on hip, gloved hand with ball to the side, saying ?And WHERE do you think YOU?RE going?? I loved it? and my peanut gallery did, too! By game?s end, I had made friends and a few great plays. I got through most of the game without embarrassing myself (OK, I did strike out once). Best of all, I had done outreach to people in the parish who had never taken the time to know me. Now every time the Rector introduces me to someone new, it comes with the endorsement, ?my fabulous first base person from our winning team!?

Barbara Curry is at home anywhere from her pew in church to onstage in P-town, and almost everywhere in between. She has been a speaker at Fantasia Fair, Children From The Shadows, and the IFGE Convention, to name a few, and with her spouse Susan produces the fabulous Fantasia Fair Follies.